Christmas

It's strange.. I have my mother back in my life.. I have a new sister who i talk to... still haven't met her in person but she's there. I have other sisters. I have family and friends in my life.. I have my boo.. and yet here is Christmas again and yet again i find myself slipping into that hole that grows everytime this season.. Maybe because i am not lookin foreward to spending yet another christmas by myself.. but i know i have all this around me.. my mood is worse then when i am pmsing... which is bad trust me.. I hear myself being stupid. saying some stupid harmful things and i just can't stop it. i feel bad after they're said. I will get past this feeling .. i know i will there are so many things to look foreward to.. Like spending a whole week with my boo.. just me and her.. its been a long time.. and then my mom commin down for some girls time. just me her and my boo. being able to something i didn't have growing up.. which is great. and i eel lucky i will be able to do these things wit my daughter. some people don't get it.. or take such a thing for granted.. and who knows.. boo may take it for granted as she grows up.. but i wouldn't trade the time for anything in the world. I love my family and i hope that in this time of year they can find the patience to forgive my idiocy...